Assuming A and B are students with no income.
A is an avid fan of a rock band, which is coming to town for a one-night-only concert. S/he is really determined to attend this concert and would like to invite his/her best friend B to go together. B is a fan of the band too. A, coming from an affluent family, wants to purchase the most expensive tickets (assume: mosh pit) for the best experience.
On the other hand,
B has been following this rock band with A, and wants to attend the concert too. However s/he is reluctant to buy the mosh pit tickets. S/he understands A’s enthusiasm but does not see the rationale behind paying so much to stand throughout the night. B, from an average family, knows that although the ticket price is affordable, it is an unnecessary splurge s/he would rather avoid.
The core dispute here would be caused by differences in principles and values. A probably did not consider whether it will be affordable for B’s family. B may be feeling guilty to indulge at his/her parents’ expense. And why does B detest the pit?
If I were B, I will try to convince A into the next-best experience-providing tickets which do not involve enclosing sweaty bodies together in a pen. I will want to enjoy the concert too, but how can I do so when I do not appreciate the environment at all? I will still be able to address A’s desire to attend the concert; I only ask him/her to forgo a little from the 'experience' department. Also, overspending on a rock concert is not a wise choice to me. There could be better use for the cash in the family, for example, in extra expenses for the Chinese New Year. Since we are best friends, s/he should understand my position if I explain my concerns clearly.
But if you were A, would you convince me otherwise? (Remember, A is resolute about the mosh pit.)
Hey Iris
ReplyDeletePersonally I would be in the shoes of B since I do not come from a well to do family. There are two parts to the story here.
Firstly there is the money issue. The difference in financial condition might be the reason B do not want to be in the mosh pit. Had B be as rich as A, there will be no conflict at all. So the high price of the mosh pit triggered B to come up with all the negative feelings about the pit. If I were A i would pay for both the tickets and it should solve everything(money is of no concern for me anyway. At the same time I will convince B about the experience that I crave. If money can solve the problem then there is no problem at all.
Secondly there is the feelings problem.If B did have a bad experience in the mosh pit previously and no amount of persuasion will get him into the mosh pit, then as A I'll respect B's decision and settle for the seats. But I might probably want to purchase the most expensive seat in front and try to pay for B.
You might think that my personification of A is rather negative by using money to try to solve everything. I also understand the fact that indiscriminate spending of money is bad. But if you have the financial background of A you would realise this is a very normal approach of trying to use the money to solve the problem first.
Cheers
See Chai
See Chai:
ReplyDeleteI guess I built a trap when I decided to describe the families' background. I, too, tend to stereotype the rich would flaunt their money, to show-off or maybe genuinely unaware of the negative connotation. But no matter what, as B, I would hate A for trying to "buy me out".
Hi Iris,
ReplyDeleteA very thoughtful post indeed. Though the solution may be as simple as A treating B for the show (if A is kind enough), it is also insightful to think of how to deal with this issue without totally relying on money matters. In fact, I agree with See Chai that if money is not much of a problem for A, why not just buy a ticket for B as well. =)
If I am B with money being a great concern in my family, I would reject's A invitation and not go to the concert at all. Of course, the motivation for this action is nothing personal but more of my financial status and principles. At the same time, I would explain to A my rationale and tell him/her that I hope to be understood too.
After listening to me, if A was to give me a free ticket so as to accompany him/her, I would humbly accept the offer. That is of course if he/she wants me to accompany her and not because of the greed of wanting a free ticket. Haha. After all, we are best friends and should exchange favours when necessary.
Regards,
Steph
Hi Iris!
ReplyDeleteWoah, this is really a tricky situation i would say. When it comes to money, it is really an sensitive issue.
If i were B, i will also be offended if A tries to solve the problem by buying the ticket for me.And if i really want to buy the mosh pit ticket, i will save up for the next months rather than accepting the offer by A. By then again, it is a once in a life time experience!If i were B, i have to ask myself what is the real reason for me not wanting to but the mosh pit tickets? It is because of the money or i don;t like the idea of standing whole night getting all sweaty? If it is the finanical reason, i am able to save up and manage to adjust my finances well by not spending on other things for this month. I might just give in and accompany A! But if it is the latter reason, i will explain to A clearly and just hope that she understands.
If i am A, i will try to put myself into the shoes of B. I am very fortunate that i come from well to do family and that i have to be more understanding towards A. Though i will be disappointed in not getting the mosh pit ticket, i will give in to B as i treasure this friendship with A alot and would not want to lose it just because of one concert.
Honestly, i feel that it doesn't matter what type of tickets A or B bought in the end. It is the people who goes with you that makes a difference. It is the company of friend that you go with that makes the concert memorable. :D
Hi Iris!
ReplyDeleteWoah, this is really a tricky situation i would say. When it comes to money, it is really an sensitive issue.
If i were B, i will also be offended if A tries to solve the problem by buying the ticket for me.And if i really want to buy the mosh pit ticket, i will save up for the next months rather than accepting the offer by A. But then again, it is a once in a life time experience!If i were B, i have to ask myself what is the real reason for me not wanting to but the mosh pit tickets? It is because of the money or i don't like the idea of standing the whole night getting all sweaty? If it is the finanical reason, i am able to save up and adjust my finances by not spending on other things for this month. I might just give in and accompany A! But if it is the latter reason, i will explain to A clearly and just hope that she understands.
If i am A, i will try to put myself into the shoes of B. I am very fortunate that i come from well to do family and that i have to be more understanding towards A. Though i will be disappointed in not getting the mosh pit ticket, i will give in to B as i treasure this friendship with A alot and would not want to lose it just because of one concert.
Honestly, i feel that it doesn't matter what type of tickets A or B bought in the end. It is the people who goes with you that makes a difference. It is the company of friend that you go with that makes the concert memorable. :D
Hey Iris!
ReplyDeleteI think that this is a difference between the value of money for A and B. Coming from an affluent family, A probably did not have to consider much before she bought something. Thus I feel that by suggesting to purchase the mosh pit tickets, she was not being inconsiderable but just doing something that she will normally do since money is not an issue to her. B, on the other hand, is probably used to considering the worth of each cent that she spend thus disagreeing with getting the mosh pit tickets.
I agree with vanessa that besides the performance of the band, it is the company that makes the experience of the concert. There is no point quarreling over what tickets to purchase such that it ruins the experience of a concert which both A and B enjoy. Communication is the key to this issue and i believe A and B would be able to find a middle ground to solve the problem:)
Thank you, Iris, for this very pertinent scenario, one that obviously many students can relate to. You do a good job describing the two characters and their backgrounds. This is clear and concise...until you pose the question "And why does B detest the pit?"
ReplyDeleteI thought the real issue was financial, and then to what extent A should be sympathetic to B's situation. Other than that, it might just be a question of preference, to stand or not.
What is a bit disconcerting in the way you present this is that you ask multiple questions, which would make it hard for me to present a focused response. Short of A offering to buy B's ticket, what ca she do do alleviate B's difficulty?
That being said, I look at all the feedback you've gotten; that's substantial.